Everybody knows the Goatee. It’s the one that makes you like a goat. Or does it? Brad Pitt doesn’t seem to think so. Nor do other members of the Hollywood A-list: Johnny Depp, James Hetfield Nicolas Cage, Orlando Bloom, Edward Norton, Samuel L Jackson and Colin Farrell, to name but a few. When adorning their celebrity chins, the Goatee loses any Heidi associations and becomes a badge of pride. They grow it to show they’ve finished their latest movie and are their own person again. And they wear it because of the proven paparazzi formula : 1 actor + 1 new Goatee = guaranteed photo opportunity.
Meet the Goatee
So what’s the big attraction? Maybe it’s actually the smallness. A Goatee doesn’t need to be grown for months, and it won’t trip you up when you get out of bed in the morning. It’s just a little piece of self-expression sitting quietly but firmly on your chin. It elongates your face ever so slightly, and focuses the attention on the centre, so you appear a bit thinner. It doesn’t require a lot of maintenance. It’s not too huge a statement. If it could talk, it wouldn’t shout.
A Goatee is a beard for first-time beardies. It’s not threatening, and it won’t take over your face. And once you’ve successfully grown one, you can move on to other styles. With confidence.
There are dangers, of course. Goatees need to be kept trimmed. Don’t let them stray too far from the end of your chin, or they’ll take on a life of their own. A Goatee should never sway in the breeze; if things get that far, you know you’re in little-old-man territory. Beware.
Who’s got one?
Goatees are really in at the moment. Celebrity Goatees include Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Nicolas Cage, Orlando Bloom, Edward Norton, Samuel L Jackson and Colin Farrell.
Hot or not?
With such a stellar cast of Goatee wearers, this style is off-the-scale sizzling.
Top tip
Keep it neat and don’t let it take over your chin. Remember who’s in charge here.
Timing
A baby Goatee can be yours within a week. The grown-up version takes a few weeks. It’s okay to stop when you can still see some chin underneath. A bit longer and thicker is fine too.
Did you know?
A pure Goatee doesn’t include a mustache. When you grow a mustache and let the sides of your Goatee grow upwards to join it, the resulting look is called a Van Dyke.
Mannerisms
You may catch yourself stroking your Goatee or twisting it into an interesting curl. Hmmm…. Stand in front of a mirror and find out why this is not an attractive look.
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