Male grooming

Walrus mustache

  • 1
    Trim away any longer hairs before giving yourself a nice, clean shave across your cheeks, neck and chin with a full-size trimmer–to about 3-5mm.
  • 2
    Wait for your mustache to grow. Trim away any stray hairs along the top edge of your mustache, using a precision trimmer.
  • 3
    Train your whiskers by brushing them downwards over your upper lip.
  • 4
    Trim your mustache as needed: a full-size trimmer with a zoom wheel will help you set and lock your chosen length setting. Use a precision trimmer to shape the ends as needed, creating a rounded edge about .5cm beyond the edge of your mouth.
  • 5
    Keep the rest of your cheeks, chin and neck cleanly shaven with a rotary shaver, moving in a gentle, circular motion. After a few months you can look forward to using your mustache as a soup strainer.


You may want to shampoo your Walrus regularly, as well as trim it; like the real animal, they have a tendency to get a bit smelly.


“I am the walrus…”

Nietzsche, a famous German philosopher, believed that it was absolutely impossible for men and women to be ‘just friends’.

Then he grew a Walrus Mustache and surprise, surprise, found himself surrounded by women who wanted to be - ‘just friends’. Thrilled to have discovered a way to make some female pals, Nietzsche never shaved again.*

So, if you’re in the market for a “friend who is a girl” and not a “girlfriend,” we strongly recommend the Walrus Mustache. That’s all we have to say on the matter.

*This may be a creative reinterpretation of historical fact.